“It’s the mother’s choice.” How Should You Respond?

Our team tests the pro-life case in the laboratory of real conversations. That’s why our videos are of normal people having normal dialogue. It’s also why you can be confident that arguments featured in our clips are real ones people are making today.

Here’s one of the most common: “It should be up to the mother to decide whether to have an abortion.”

How do you respond when you hear this?

Check out the short video below to see this argument in action, scroll down for quick tips, and then pick up a vital pro-life resource!

Video: “As bad as it sounds… ”

When someone says, “It’s up to the mother” whether to have an abortion, we may be tempted to roll our eyes. We know what they’re really saying is: “It should be up to the mother whether or not her baby is dismembered and discarded or starved and suffocated.”

That’s a wildly indefensible position.

And yet, if we want to save babies, we must reach the hearts and change the minds of people who consider or advocate for abortion. So instead of rolling your eyes, try these quick tips.

Quick Conversation Tips: “It’s the mother’s choice.”

  • “Whose choice?”: If someone says, “It’s up to the mother,” she believes it is wrong to limit someone’s choices. But then what about the other party, the preborn person? Ask whether that other person should have a say in the matter.
  • “You must choose.”: When there are two parties with competing interests—such as the mother’s autonomy and the baby’s right to life—we must decide which ranks higher. Ask: “Which seems to be more important? Unlimited choices for the mom or the baby’s right not to be violently killed?”
  • Compare Born to Preborn: Always come back to this tried-and-true strategy. If they say, “Well, the mother’s autonomy is more important,” ask: “Would you say the same about a born baby? What if a mother with a newborn wants to be freed from motherhood? Would it be okay for her to kill that newborn?” They’ll probably say, “No.” But if it’s wrong to kill a newborn because of the mother’s autonomy, it must also be wrong to kill the same child when she’s just younger (i.e., preborn).

Learn the art of dialogue to help babies and their parents! Get a copy of Love Unleashes Life: Abortion and the Art of Communicating Truth from Created Equal friend and renowned speaker/writer Stephanie Gray Connors.

Love Unleashes Life is a practical book designed to train readers to have compelling and compassionate encounters when discussing abortion. Applying the methods of asking questions and telling stories, it engages and equips readers to provide a strong intellectual case for the pro-life message, as well as to reach those who have wounded hearts.